Why You Should Let Go Of Fear Of Failure

Being afraid to fail is something that can really prevent you from getting the most out of life (I know it did exactly that to me for a while). The fear of the unknown and fear that everything you try to do may just crumble and fall apart can really get in the way of living life to your full potential and it's not a fun place to be in.

Here are some reasons why you should let go of the fear of failure:  

Your Fears Aren't As Big As You Think 
When you face your fears they actually turn out to be smaller than you thought they were. What makes them big is when you don't look them directly and face up them. The longer you avoid your fears the bigger they grow in your mind. Fears at times can feel the size of a mountain, but a mountain is not that big if you're able to climb up and over it to the other side. Fine, it might take a while to climb up that mountain but you'll eventually overcome it if you're persistent. 

I used to see this acronym but not really pay much attention to it until more recently. And sometimes your fears not only appear smaller than you thought, but a lot of the time they are all a part of your vivid imagination. It's easy to feel begin pre-determining what could happen before it even does and potentially wont! 

False 
Evidence 
Appearing
Real 


You'll never be who you're supposed to be
If you stay in your shell you'll never be the person you are meant to be, and you will never achieve your full potential! I remember there was a time when I was afraid to start up my fashion business again, I'd launched a business that wasn't doing as well as I wanted it to, but instead of persisting and fixing the things I had done wrong I went into my shell and stopped.But there came a time when I started feeling like I wasn't living to my full potential, I was frustrated working jobs I hated, waking up at stupid hours in the morning and not spending time on my passion or doing what I knew I was supposed to be doing. 

Don't allow the fear of failure or the unknown paralyse you from stepping out, because if you do you're getting in your own way of opportunities and having a better life!

Most people fail because they become paralysed by their fear. BE the person who faces their fears and experiences what life could really be and DON'T be the person who succumbs to their fears and does the same thing you've always done. Nothing great ever came from staying in your comfort zone. 


You have to Fail to win. 
Failure is all a part of the process when you're on the road to success, which is why you shouldn't fear failure. You'll make mistakes and that's okay. They teach you what to do right the next time. With my business I've learnt the things that work and what doesn't. In life you're always learning, so count failure as a way to learn. Also sometimes you don't know what to do right until you've seen what's wrong. 

So many people fail before they even saw any success: 

• Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a news anchor because she "wasn't fit tor television"
• Marilyn Monroe's first contract with Columbia Pictures expired because they told her she wasn't pretty or talented enough to be an actress
• JK Rowling's first book was rejected by 12 publishing houses before it was finally accepted 

So remember even if you do fail you can STILL win!!! 

Stop fearing the unknown or the possibility of failing, because God did not give you fear, but He gave you power! He gave you the ability to win, the ability to overcome and the ability to go FAR! Especially if you are going through life with Him besides you there's nothing that you cannot do! 

Fight that Fear! 

- Modern Ladyhood 

(Featured Image: Pinterest.com)

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Life

Why We Secretly Stalk Meagan Good & Devon Franklin!!

Firstly, this isn't about to be one of those posts to suggest you should be like Meagan Good and Devon Franklin, neither is it one which seeks to make you feel envious of the couple. But rather, things you can learn...I guess. (Or perhaps it's just our bias towards generally loving them! I dunno). Anyway...here are our actual reasons as to why....

1. They Waited
Waited for what you ask? Well I am still yet to buy this book so probably not as wised up as I should probably be - But I have read the blurb, and watched interviews leading up to the launch of their book titled,'The Wait' - speaking about how they waited for each other, waited on God and also waited to get married before having sex! 

Celibacy is definitely isn't widely celebrated in the 21st Century - soon as you do tell someone you are celibate it is usually followed with a sympathetic "Ahh, well good on you" response or a "Are you crazy?" response. But they still managed to be different from a large number of the population and do it the 'right way'. The couple spoke in interviews of how much of a positive impact it made on their relationship, by removing insecurities, the potential of being blinded by the physical or using sex to divert from real issues. 

People have probably forgotten or don't know (or maybe don't even care), but God did make sex for the enjoyment of marriage and not before it and this is something we definitely celebrate here at Modern Ladyhood *clap clap*


2. They wrote a book together
Yeah I know...more about this book! I don't know about you but a couple that can write a book together to me shows a great form of team-work!!! 
As a control freaked, perfectionist writer I literally couldn't even imagine sharing the pen with another person, someone else telling me what I wrote was wrong or I should change it! That might just be me. But even back in school I didn't like the English teacher telling me I was wrong -- I mean leave me to make up my own words in peace! Ha!

But this must have taken a huge amount of surrender on both parts. 


3. They're Hollywood but Human
I love the fact they promote things like celibacy and abstinence and loving GOD! Not very Hollywood really. It's just amazing that they are industry-focussed but still church-focussed. 
While some of hollywood are promoting crazy crazy and morrreee crazy lives these two are here talking about standing out, and not doing what the rest of the world are doing and highlighting the benefits in doing so. (Yup!)


4. They support each other 
Nowww we can't talk about how much we love them without talking about 'the incident' - yeah the incident... you know the one where that random woman shouted out to Meagan "We're going to cover up right" referring to her clothing and how inappropriate it is for the Christian world. Hmmm not the way to do it lady!

However, half of a second passes and Devon runs to her rescue, rising up in defence to protect his Queen from harm, like a Knight in shining armour ready to... (okay not exactly like that) but his response was fast, quick to defend and protect her! And that's the way it should be. The man protecting his wife!


5. They're inspirational
I have read Devon's book 'Produced By Faith' and what I loved about this book is his honesty and humility, speaking of reaching success as a Film producer, being humbled along his journey with many hiccups, but not allowing himself to forget who he is once gaining ultimate success and exposure through the production of the film 'The Pursuit of Happyness'. Generally not forgetting it was God who helped him get there, and remembering his calling to be a difference within the Film industry being both a Pastor and a Film producer. If that's not inspiring - I don't know what is. 


So I guess there are some things we can learn from the couple. Or maybe this was an excuse to do a post just for them? I don't know. Either way it's done now lol

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Love and Relationships

5 Reasons To Stop Comparing Your Life To Others

It is easy nowadays with things like social media to have a 'I want what is on their plate' mentality, forgetting what is on our own plate is just right for us! 

We were all created in our own individual ways so comparing your life to someone else's will only cause you to be depressed (I speak from experience). If you constantly look at other people's lives you'll never see the blessings and gifts that are laying there in your own life...

So here are 5 reasons to stop comparing yourself to other people...

1. Comparing Will Drain You. 
If you keep comparing your life to other people, whether friends or not you will become incredibly tired. Feeling like you constantly have to try to keep up with what others are doing which will eventually drain all of your energy, leaving nothing left for yourself. 

Be who you are naturally, not attempting to be someone you're not. Comparing with take away all your happiness and joy and life is not about comparing yourself to others, wishing you had what they did, but rather being the best YOU you can be. 

2. You will never feel good enough 
If you base your worth and your value on other people's success you will never feel like your life is worth much. It doesn't matter the speed another person is going - what matters is your own life and the progress you are making. And generally success is not necessarily based on speed but rather, the progress you are making along your journey. 

You will also start to highlight your faults and everything you don't have. Which will lead you to live an incredibly unhappy lifestyle. 

3. You will lose focus
I used to run track in school and my mum alwasy said to me before my race "Just keep running don't look behind you or next to you otherwise you'll slow down" and this is beneficial advice for our general life as well. is With our social media conscious society it's hard not to take a look at what other people are doing in their daily lives, but if you are constantly focussed on other people's lives you will lose focus on your own. 

Don't be that person who slows down during their race because they are too busy looking at what is next to them. It's great for other people to inspire you, but do the things you know you are supposed to be doing in life. 

4. You will never win 
Comparing yourself to other people will be a never-ending battle. It won't just be one person, but there will always be people who you feel are doing better than you and you'll end up losing in the eyes of comparison. There will always be someone who is doing something you wish you could accomplish, and if you keep on comparing your life to others it'll be a never-ending depressing fight. Taking you down a never-ending spiral

5. You're simply amazing! 
You were made to be you! Don't let anything stop you from remembering that! Even identical twins may look the same but wouldn't be identical in experiences, inspirations, hobbies, and ideas. So why compare yourself to other people? Everyone on this earth is a unique individual and there is no timeline that we have to live by.

God made you the way He did for a purpose and you are exclusive! No matter how much you feel someone else is like you or doing the things you want to do, don't worry about that because there is always something you can bring to the table in your own unique way. You are the only person in the world who thinks the way you do, or has the specific gifts in the way you do or carries the experience, mistakes, stories and triumphs you do! 

And alright! Your friends or people around you might be getting married, having kids, getting promotions, travelling the world but that doesn't mean if you haven't accomplished those things by a certain time your life is worthless. If you see people doing exciting things use it as an inspiring, rather than looking back at your own life sulking and feeling sorry for yourself. 

Practice celebrating your uniqueness and be proud of the things you have accomplished with a desire to improve yourself for YOU and nobody else - also celebrate with those around you who are doing well. 


You have something important to give life in your own special, unique and individual way. Remember that! 

#ModernLadyhood

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Career and Business

You Dont Have To Wait To Become A Bride To Enjoy Life

                         

I remember a time when I used to say I wanna do this - but I will wait until I'm married to do it with my husband! Who even says that?! 

Well I did. 

In my idealist, perfect world my husband was gonna like all the things I liked and would spend his time doing exactly that with me. (Yeah probably not really gonna happen) And I would wait until then to do them. 

I've come back to earth now though, learnt a few things and still learning. Learning things like: YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE MARRIED TO ENJOY LIFE!!!

Sometimes as ladies it's easy to feel like our life only starts when we are married or in a relationship and we should wait for that to happen before we can really live life. Life isn't about sitting around and doing nothing while you wait, but about being proactive whilst waiting. If you did nothing but waited all day for 'that day' you would have wasted a lot of valuable time. 

Like seriously. Marriage is definitely a blessing. A true reflection of God's beauty. However I'm not going to wait until I'm married to enjoy life anymore, and here are some reasons why you shouldn't either: 

1. You Could Miss Out

If you sit waiting around for Mr Right you may just end up missing out on the right door, opportunity or experience. 

A relationship is supposed to add to your life - but not necessarily something you put your life on hold for or wait for to bring excitement. Of course it'll be exciting but you've also got to make life interesting for yourself and not wait for someone to come along and do it for you. If you wait for marriage or a relationship before pursuing certain things you may miss out on greatness. 

2. You Really Could Miss Out

Just to emphasise the previous point because it's soooo true.  

By waiting until marriage to enjoy life you potentially run the risk of not really meeting people and not meeting people means you may not meet any guys, hence not meeting your guy to get married to. A slight cycle which will never end. Say for instance you like travelling, you could also meet a guy who likes travelling WHILST travelling. Meaning that mutual interests could bring you together. I heard a story of a blogger who met her now husband via her blog, He was a writer too and stumbled upon it. If she never blogged she probably would have never met him. 

This isn't to say you'll meet a guy through common interests - but it's definitely possible. So don't wait to pursue something when you're married. Do it NOWWW!! 

3. Life Will Be Boring

If you're just sitting and waiting for things to happen to you in your life, then life will be boring. 

That's all. You don't want to live a boring, mundane life hoping that things are gonna somehow come to you because you're waiting. 

Make life exciting for yourself. Don't wait for someone to create excitement for you. You don't want to go through life waiting for marriage and missing out on so many opportunities because you're too busy thinking about when Mr. Right is going to come your way. This single time could be used productively....to travel, get hobbies, learn a skill, build a career or a business. Do some things NOW at least then once you're married with kids you won't sit there singing your shoulda, coulda, wouldas. 

#ModernLadyhood 

Featured image via: Instagram

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Love and Relationships

How To Be A Successful Risk Taker

At this point in life I'm realising that in order to go far I need to take more risks and to get to a level of greatness I need to step out my comfort zone. 

Sticking to your comfort zone gets really boring. If you never take any risks or step out of the ordinary then life will be pretty repetitive. And sometimes the bigger the risk the bigger the reward. Risk taking is all about experiencing all that life has to offer. 

Which is why I've made a list of things I will be doing to be a successful risk taker: 

1. Measure out The Gains verses The Loss 

When taking risks it's important to weigh up the things you could lose verses that which you'll gain. If what you will gain is worth a lot more than what you could potentially lose, then go for it!  If something like losing your comfort is one of your reasons then push that aside and take the risk. Do your research and preparation, weighing up whether it will be worth the risk. 

2. View it as your only shot 

Treat stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a risk like it's your only shot. If you treat it like it's your only chance you'll be so determined that it is achievable. Whatever it is you want to do there may be some difficulties but it's your decision whether to allow the difficulties to outweigh the amazing experiences you could have. 

3. Have faith in yourself 

Even if other people don't believe in your abilities or the risk you're thinking of taking the most important thing is that you believe and have enough faith to know it'll work out and will be worth it. If you want to go for a promotion or take extra study but you're told you aren't qualified or educated enough, remember why you're doing it and you're capable of anything you put your mind to. 

Okay there may be some hiccups or forks in the road but that is normal and all part of the journey. Which brings us into our next point. 

4. Failure is all part a of the process 

Don't see failure as the final destination. But see fit as a stepping stone for success. An Oprah quote states "Think like a Queen. Queens are not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness" And this is sooo true. Failure is not anything you can avoid, but you can change your perspective and see failure as a way to learn from what you've done in the past and do it differently. Use the negative and turn it into a positive 

5. Be true to yourself 

And lastly be true to who you are. There's no point in taking a risk that you don't really want to do or its based on an emotional decision, or not really thought through. Choose risks that have the will make you happy and will improve your life. 

If there's something you've wanted to do for the longest time and can't stop thinking about it but have been afraid to do it. There is no better time than now. Take risks for the things you love and for what would ultimately bring a reward to your life. 

#ModernLadyhood 

Featured image via: Instagram

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Career and Business

3 Reasons To Forget Your Age And Live Your Life

                       

Note: The fact that you can be 40 and look like that (image above) makes it very clear that 40 is definitely the new 30, and 30 being 20.

Life goes by sooo fast it's crazy. The fact that you could be celebrating your 16th bday one day then the next you're pushing 30! It's all crazy and a lot to deal with at times, enough to make a person want to hide in a corner begging it to stop. But thing is it's not gonna stop. We are going to keep aging whether we like it or not. 

Sometimes as humans we get so consumed with our age particularly in the areas of getting married, building a career, having a successful business, buying a house and having kids. It's all pressure to get all of that done by a specific age, to the point where we stop enjoying life.

So here are 3 reasons not to get too caught up on your age and just live and enjoy life:

1. You're as young as you feel

Yep. We all age but it's down to the individual whether they will allow age to be a limitation or not. This isn't an excuse to say you should act like a kid or in order to forget your age. But simply it's your choice whether you're gonna allow yourself to be focussed on your age or just live your life. 

Some people associate age with not being able to do certain things because they have missed their moment. But if you want to go after or pursue something, then do it! You're never too old. If you want to go back to school. Do it!! Nobody is saying you can only be in your early 20s to study. You're never too old to go after a dream. 

2. Opportunities aren't limited to age

There ARE some industries such as the Modelling industry who place an age limit on an opportunity, but that isn't everyone's dream anyway. So you are fine!  

It's easy to believe you can only achieve certain goals or by a certain age, and if you have not accomplished it by then that you've missed it. It  inspires me whenever I hear Mark Zuckerberg became a millionaire at 22, and a billionaire at 23 because it highlights the fact that you're never too young to reach success, However it inspires me even more that Oprah made a million at 32, and a billion at 49. There's no age limit to success. Not that 49 is old . But a lot of people would have given up on a dream by then if it didn't work out after they'd passed a certain age. 

Opportunities doesn't care how old you are 

3. Nobody cares as much as you do 

Okay people might say stuff about your age, but at the same time it's up to you whether you'll let it affect you or not. Just get on with life and forget about your age. So what if you're 25 and haven't got to where you wish you had or you're 30 and not married yet. 

It's honestly great to have goals and work towards achieving them by a specific age as a guideline but if it doesn't work out exactly how you imagined don't beat yourself up about it. 

Life isn't a competition so what the girl next door has done at 21 or 25 or 30 has nothing to do with you. You just do you and work according to your own timescale. Imagine if we all had the same life timescale. Like would be pretty boring and conventional. I say we all live our life not focussing on our age. Obviously have goals and dreams but enjoy the journey on the way there and don't compare your timeline to someone else's. Life is too short to be in a competition with people. Work according to your own lifeline. 

- Modern Ladyhood

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Career and Business