February is always the month whereby the topic of relationships comes up often, probably because of Valentine's Day, so because of this we will kick-start with some lovey-dovey posts.
This subject of Finding THE ONE comes up in
discussion quite frequently, and often feels really weighty and pressurised
easily in our 20s/30s. But here are some reasons to stop focussing on finding
that ONE person...
1. THERE ARE BILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
There are 7.4 billion people in the world meaning that's
a pretty big selection. If we are supposed to choose one person out of a
billion then that's a whole lotta pressure!
The
process of choosing to be with someone and potentially marrying them just has
to have wisdom attached to it. Choosing someone who complements your life, who
you can grow with, achieve goals with and ultimately become a better person,
flourishing into the best version of yourself is what's
most important.
2. YOU COULD TOTALLY MISS OUT
It's so easy to turn down a load of potentials because
you feel like they don't meet the requirements on your list.
This isn't to
say you should settle - clearly there are some no-brainers to your
dating-selection-process. However if he has the most important things you need
in a guy, but there are other random things you can't check off your list then
you probably have to question whether you're being too picky. (I'm
definitely learning this too). For instance if he's an inch shorter than you
like or a skin shade too dark or too light or he doesn't like rom-coms when you
love them - then realise it's
really not that deep.
3. THERE IS NEVER A 'RIGHT ONE'
That one job, one car, one house? Hmmm. Not sure that
even exists.
The One invites
this false idea of perfection and as females we are pretty good at holding onto
our idealistic view of what is perfect. (I am guilty). However no job, no
house, no car will ever be perfect - as humans we get easily
bored and hence crave something new quite often.
The One in terms
of a relationship is this idealistic view that the one will be perfect. He will
be everything you've ever wanted, he will do the right things and say all the
right things all the time. (Almost like your very own perfectly constructed
robotic man). The person you eventually get with will most probably be right
for you but he definitely won't be perfect and neither will you.
4. YOU BECOME 'ONE' ONCE YOU'RE MARRIED
Essentially
the person you marry will be your 'One' - the two will unite to become
one. That's what God create marriage to be like. There are no longer
two individuals but rather the two individuals come
together to create oneness and unity. Becoming one emotionally,
spiritually, intellectually, and financially.
Not to
say you lose yourself but you've now joined forces with another
person. And because you become one with this person they become your one
and you becoming their one. Interesting huh?
So it might be time to throw away your manufactured male
list that includes him having to be a Chocolate 6'3 man with hazel eyes,
perfect teeth, an insanely high paid job, drives a bentley, and will spend
every last penny (or cent) on you. Those things are great but if you're sitting
around waiting for that, only that and that alone...you're probably gonna be
waiting a LOONNNG time!
- Modern Ladyhood
Featured image via: Pinterest.com
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